We carried on that way without taking time to see how this might be affecting us...and it always does affect us...doing life with other humans. You can't walk through a trash dump without carrying the smell out on your clothes and shoes any more than you can walk through a field of flowers without sweet-smelling pollen weaving it's way into the fabric you wear. Fragrance, be it pleasant or putrid, has a way of lingering.
By Fall, we were neck deep in the lives of people hurting all around us and had no real sense for how to manage...Sam handled it in his own way and I in mine. At first, it felt better to just vent to each other and then it felt better just to be quiet about all of it...too quiet...we hunkered down and tried to face our fears alone...which we found only led to being more afraid...issues that originally presented as true for friends and theory for us began to creep into our own hearts and minds as haunting possibilities...and the fear crippled our once stalwart team.
We limped along focusing our efforts on keeping the peace and parenting through the winter...and I do mean limped. Come February, we were at an all time low. And it took sitting down with friends who have known and loved Sam and I for our entire history together in order to gain some perspective on the fall out...only a glimpse but a glimpse in the right direction...the "you two are not okay" direction.

















